How Do You Bridge the Thinkers and Feelers Divide?
HRDQ StaffWhen you bridge the gap between Thinkers and Feelers in your workplace, it can make a giant difference in how well things run and how your team performs. It's pretty common for misunderstandings to pop up because of different communication styles and the way people approach strategy options. And when that happens, it can put the brakes on projects and cause tension that just doesn't need to be there. Let me share some ways you can help these personality types collaborate better.
These conflicts between Thinkers and Feelers at work are costing organizations money in lost productivity and turnover every single year – we're talking billions. I'll tell you about some real differences between these personality types. Then, I'll share a few strategies you can use to get everyone working together more. These strategies include active listening and feedback skills, a balanced approach to making decisions, and communication techniques customized to each mindset.
We can turn these personality differences into strengths for your team. Let's get started and make it happen!
- Improve communication skills
- Simple yet powerful
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Table of Contents
Thinkers and Feelers
With making decisions and relationship-building, you might like to know that Thinkers and Feelers use different strategies. Thinkers usually like to depend on logic and data to help them find out what for. They look at problems through a lens of goals.
Feelers take a different strategy to making decisions. They get started by looking at how their decisions might affect the people around them. Harmony in their relationships means a lot to them. Most of the time, their options are based on their personal values and how they think people will respond emotionally.
These differences can be big at work. A Thinker might choose a job based mostly on the salary and possibilities for moving up in the company. A Feeler tends to care about things like how well the team works together and what the company culture is like. There's no right or wrong way to look at it, though.
In relationships, Thinkers like direct communication, and they usually don't mind a little conflict. In their mind, disagreements are just a natural part of trying to find the truth. Feelers like a gentler strategy. They might stay away from confrontation sometimes to keep things peaceful.
When buying a car, it shows how this plays out. A Thinker focuses on things like the car's specs, how fuel-efficient it's and comparing prices to get the best deal. A Feeler considers how the car makes them feel when they're driving it and what kind of image the brand has. Perspectives add something to the table.
These differences in thinking can sometimes cause friction between people. To a Feeler, a Thinker might feel a little cold or distant. And to a Thinker, a Feeler might feel overly emotional or indirect. If they're not careful, these misunderstandings can create communication breakdowns.
When Thinkers and Feelers work together, their different approaches can make the team stronger. Thinkers bring an analytical perspective to tough problems. Feelers stay around that the human ingredient stays present in the data. Combining their strengths they can come up with services that are more well-rounded than either one could on their own.
When these two styles collaborate, some things can happen. A Thinker's attitude complements a Feeler's compassion and empathy. Approaching problems from different angles, they can develop services that no one would have thought of alone. Each perspective helps fill in the gaps that the other might miss.
Why Does Emotional Intelligence Matter?
Emotional intelligence is your internal compass for handling relationships at work. It helps you read the room and adjust how you communicate based on who you're talking to. You wouldn't talk to your CEO the same way you talk with your work friend.
Workplace conflicts pop up from differences between logical Thinkers and emotional Feelers. Thinkers might brush off feelings as irrelevant, while Feelers might think Thinkers are being cold or robotic. Both approaches have their place at work.
Emotions that are ignored don't just vanish into thin air. They like to come back later in ways that are even more destructive. When you can be tuned into emotions, it helps you stay away from these situations before they blow up.
When you're emotionally intelligent, it doesn't mean you have to always walk on eggshells and learn when to push forward with logic and when to wait for emotional check-ins. Sometimes, your team needs cold, hard facts – and other times, they need a bit of emotional support.
Skilled leaders can switch between thinking and feeling modes pretty naturally. They know when it's time to objectively analyze data and when it's time to show some empathy. These skills go a long way in building stronger teams and better relationships at work.
Teams with high emotional intelligence like to manage conflicts well. They're better at giving feedback, resolving disagreements, and keeping everyone motivated. They also seem to have less misunderstandings and smoother communication.
How to Improve Communication
The classic divide between the Thinkers and Feelers in your office usually shows up in those moments when one person is excitedly rattling off data while another is visibly upset about a project setback.
As a Thinker, you probably love diving right into the cold facts and logic when you're sharing ideas. But you might want to remember how your message will land emotionally with your more feeling-oriented colleagues. They can end up feeling a bit ignored or brushed off.
On the other end, your Feeler coworkers like to lead with their emotional intelligence and intuition. They're skilled at picking up on tension in the room or sensing unspoken problems that pure data analysis might miss. The challenge for them is figuring out how to present their plans in that structured way that Thinkers like.
When you make some adjustments, it can help to bridge this communication gap. If you're a Thinker, take a bit of time before launching into your analysis. Acknowledge how the changes could affect the team. Use warm body language and a friendly tone to show that you're open to feedback, too.
As a Feeler, look for ways to support your gut feelings with relevant data. Try organizing your thoughts more systematically before conversations – this'll help your logical-minded colleagues to find and act on your emotionally-driven suggestions.
Both styles bring perspectives to the table. A Thinker might find the big flaw in the quarterly numbers. A Feeler can predict how fixing it'll improve team morale. Put your heads together and you can develop services that are analytically sound and emotionally intelligent.
Active feedback goes a long way in strengthening team communication. Listen to what others are saying instead of just waiting for your turn to talk. Ask questions to learn about their view.
The point isn't to drastically change anyone's natural communication style. We all gain from stretching ourselves to remember logical and emotional elements. That's how you create teams where everyone feels heard, respected, and appreciated.
Active Listening for Greater Trust
Active engagement with someone and showing them that you care about what they have to say is a big part. You want to be present in the second and to give them your full attention.
At times, we can accidentally start planning out what we're going to say next while the other person is still talking. But that can actually make it harder to connect with them. So, instead, try to focus completely on their words without judging or jumping in.
When it's your turn to respond, you can use some easy phrases to welcome them to open up more. When you say things like, "I'd love to hear about that," or, "Tell me where you're coming from," it'll show that you're interested in their thoughts and feelings behind the words.
Your body language can help, too. Try mirroring their posture or nodding as they talk. Those little things can help to create a physical connection to go along with the conversation. It's a way to make the other person feel heard and validated.
A question to explain something is sometimes a good way to respond. These questions bridge the gap between the facts and the emotions – Thinkers and Feelers end up feeling acknowledged and respected.
Another real part of actively listening is reflecting back on what they said. When you rephrase their main points, it confirms that you were and will show that you were paying attention. It prevents misunderstandings that could throw off a conversation.
To sincerely listen, you have to put your own biases and assumptions aside for a bit. If you have conversations with real curiosity, it leaves room for logic and emotions to be expressed.
That openness lets you build a deeper connection, even with people who communicate differently than you.
Active takes patience and commitment. You have to fight the impulse to immediately start problem-solving. Instead, absorb their full message.
Balanced Perspectives
Picture two coworkers, Sarah and Mike, trying to get through a big project before the deadline hits. Sarah's all about the spreadsheets and data with these making decisions. Mike puts his energy into how everyone on the team is doing and keeps things positive between people. The thing is, when you depend on just one of these strategies, it shows only part of the picture.
When teams put too much emphasis on logic they forget real human things that play into if something succeeds or not. You can have the most perfect project timeline in the world. But it doesn't mean much if your team is exhausted and feeling unappreciated. Teams that heavily depend on keeping everyone happy without good planning find missed deadlines and sloppy work.
Things start moving when different views come together. Sarah's tracking made it clear that they needed more time to give quality work. Mike saw that people were working late and feeling the pressure. And by combining their plans they were able to change the timeline in a way that focused on good results and the team's wellbeing.
This type of collaboration can give you much better results than either strategy could achieve alone. You need elements to end up with something successful.
Workplaces run into problems because they put more weight on one style over the other. Groups that prioritize relationships above all else could be afraid of having tough conversations that need to happen. These imbalances fuel unnecessary conflict and cause teams to miss opportunities.
The strongest leaders make a point of bringing different thinking styles together. They've found that analytical minds help find facts, while more intuitive Thinkers pick up on important relationships and processes. When multiple perspectives shape decisions, teams are able to come up with resourceful services that are great.
When it comes down to it, most challenges that crop up in the workplace need a combination of careful analysis and emotional awareness. A new policy might feel flawless in theory but completely flop because it doesn't account for how people will actually respond to it. Teams that make decisions based on gut feelings and trust might not have the structured framework needed for steady results.
Your Mindset
You've probably worked with that logical coworker who seems to treat every conversation like they're in a debate tournament. And then there's the colleague who takes every little comment personally.
To bridge the gap between Thinkers and Feelers, the first step is recognizing their different approaches. Thinkers want facts and data to help them make decisions. They usually enter problem-solving mode without even thinking about the emotional side of things.
Feelers process information through an emotional lens first. They look at how decisions will affect people and relationships. That means they might take a bit longer to reach conclusions because they're weighing these human things too.
Even small differences in the language you use can make a difference when these types interact. A Thinker could try saying, "I see this matters to you," instead of expressing pure logic. And a Feeler may have better luck saying, "Here are some of my problems" instead of "This doesn't feel right."
Thinkers should give Feelers some space to process the emotional facts before pushing for decisions. Feelers can help by stating their main points first before adding the emotional context.
Most of the misunderstandings between these types happen silently. Thinkers usually stay quiet to stay away from dealing with emotions they find uncomfortable, and Feelers might hold back their problems because they don't want to seem irrational.
These communication gaps can create real challenges at work. A Thinker might accidentally dismiss someone's valid emotional problems as excessive. A Feeler might accidentally weaken a logical argument by focusing only on gut feelings.
Different Perspectives for Stronger Teams
Proper structure and strong personal connections can really make all of the difference in the workplace.
The unique approaches of Thinkers and Feelers bring fresh perspectives to the table. When Thinkers and Feelers learn to collaborate, they can create more well-rounded services. Their combined views tend to lead to stronger decisions than either type could make on their own.
However, it all starts with learning how to properly communicate with one another. In our What's My Communication Style assessment, you and your team can learn your particular communication styles and how to adapt to the communication styles of others on your team to improve both engagement and productivity. Be sure to check it out today!
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