Passive Listening vs. Active Listening
Listening is the basic art of hearing what someone says. You may be able to repeat what you've heard, but you're not focused on what someone is saying, the intent behind their words, and the deeper meaning or emotion. In essence, this is passive listening.
On the other hand, active listening is a deliberate and focused approach. When you're actively listening, you're fully present, giving the speaker your undivided attention as you try to understand the whole message, including tone, emotion, and deeper meaning. HRDQ's collection of active listening training courses helps you develop the skills of active listening.
The Cues of Active Listening
As much as 65% of a person's communication is unspoken. Paying attention to nonverbal cues can reveal a great deal about the person and what they are trying to convey. If they talk fast, for instance, this could be a sign that they are nervous or anxious. If they talk slowly, they may be tired or trying to carefully choose their words. Your non-verbal behaviors are just as important. To show the person you're truly tuned in, use open, non-threatening body language. This involves not folding your arms, smiling while listening, leaning in, and nodding at key junctures.
It's also helpful to be mindful of your facial expressions when listening so that you don't convey any negative response. Making eye contact is especially important. This tells the other person that you are present and listening to what they say. It also shows that you aren't distracted by anything else around you.
During conversation, convey your listening by reflecting on what you have heard in your responses. One way to reflect what you've heard is to paraphrase. For example, you might say, "In other words, what you are saying is..." or "What I'm hearing is...". This summarization gives the person the opportunity to say whether you've captured their thoughts, ideas, and/or emotions accurately. It also helps the other person feel validated and understood while minimizing potential miscommunications.
Active Listening Best Practices
Be patient and non-judgmental when listening. You are listening to understand and respond. Avoid mentally preparing a reply while the other person is still speaking. And remain neutral and even-tempered in your responses to make the other person feel comfortable with sharing their thoughts. Also, avoid changing the subject abruptly, as this conveys boredom and impatience. Additionally, try not to fill periods of silence with your thoughts or stories. A good listener will act as a sounding board rather than jumping in with their ideas and opinions about what is being said.
